Your first time in the world of alternative sexualities can be both scary and exciting for some people. There's actually not a huge amount of hard-and-fast advice we can offer to first-time attendees at alt-sex activities and venues (most of it is common sense and courtesy), but here are a couple of suggestions. There is also quite a bit of stuff at Sabrina's pages on etiquette, for first-timers, and for single guys.

- Don't come expecting x to happen, because it may not. Instead, use the experience as an opportunity to learn more about the scene. We simply can't guarantee that you'll necessarily find what you're looking for here, although of course we hope you do.

- It is entirely possible that you might be touched by, propositioned, or otherwise come into contact with people whose sexuality is not compatible with your own. If this occurs, and if you decide not to take the opportunity to expand your horizons, then the appropriate thing to do is to politely decline. You can do this by saying something like: 'I'm flattered that you're attracted to me, but I'm afraid I'm more into _______'. If they persist, either repeat your comments, move away, or let one of the organisers know.

- If you're coming as a couple, it's well worthwhile discussing your rules and boundaries with your partner beforehand to avoid any disappointment on the evening. For example, will you only play together? Will you only play in the same room together? Do you want to play with males, females, trannies, all of the above, or only with each other?

- It's not a good idea to turn up drunk. While it might shed some inhibitions, if you need to get drunk to overcome them then you're in the wrong place and we'd prefer that you went to the pub instead.

- if your mobile phone has a camera on it, then either leave it at home, or if you really must have it then leave it deep in your bag. If you are found with a camera you will be asked to leave.

- although you may think that you're God's gift to the opposite gender, there are generally a whole bunch of other guys in the room who also think the same.

- respect each room's function. Do not attempt to play in the bathroom (even if you have a bathroom fetish), because this holds it up for people who need to go to the toilet. Do not play in the chill-out area. Likewise, avoid irrelevant conversations about the weather/ footy/ the price of fish/ etc in play spaces.

- don't be afraid to ask one of the hosts if you're not sure of something. There are no silly questions and we're always happy to help.

- at the end of the night, leave quietly and don't act like a fuckwit. Many parties which attract adverse attention from local councils and residents (especially those in residential areas) do so not because of any moral opposition to swinging per se, but because they create parking and noise issues for local residents. If you depart boasting loudly about how you fucked this gorgeous blonde and then drive off revving your engine, then (as well as revealing yourself to be a selfish loser with a very small, soft penis) you're also volunteering not to be invited back.